What Makes Someone Beautiful.
I’ve been dating someone who I find inspiring. Considerate, forthcoming, curious, passionate – he has many qualities that I admire in a person. Thinking about him caused me to reflect upon people in general and traits that are appealing in others.
As a society, we are more apt to hone in on the superficial beauty that is dictated by the media rather than “what’s on the inside”. This is not to deny that a physical attraction should be present when looking for a partner- this is absolutely important. However, personality can make someone that much more attractive, or unattractive.
Beauty doesn’t only extend to significant others. Friends, family, co-workers – anyone that comes into contact with you can captivate. I have friends that I consider extremely beautiful people, not because they are “hot” or “sexy”, but because they are wonderful, authentic, and kind-hearted.
So what makes one beautiful?
“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” -Confucius
Being assured in thoughts and demonstrating this through actions. Being confident shows that an individual knows themself and isn’t afraid to express it. They are committed to their beliefs and goals. If they’re silly, they’re SILLY. If they love to dance, they DANCE. If they feel adamant about an issue, they aren’t afraid to express their opinion! This isn’t to say that confident people cannot be persuaded or are inflexible. Confidence isn’t about being overbearing, but knowing yourself and being okay with it. They don’t seek attention, but naturally obtain it. They are secure in themselves and their decisions. It’s enticing when someone can stand their ground in this manner.
The light in someone’s eyes when they talk about a cause that inspires them, the way in which someone loves, or the attentiveness brought to a meaningful activity in someone’s life can be alluring. Whether it’s a job or a hobby, whether it’s money, charity, art, growth, family or learning – as long as someone is passionate about something and shows it, it’s appealing. You may admire a person more or less based on what they are passionate about, but if it’s in line with your values, you can’t help but applaud them for doing what they love. If someone has passion, it seeps into many aspects of their life. This often drives their goals and ambition.
3) Sense of Humor
A person doesn’t need to be the next Jimmy Fallon. However, light-heartedness is charming. Difficult and embarrassing things happen in life, and if someone is able to laugh at themselves, it’s a breath of fresh air! Someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously can roll with the punches, and doesn’t take things a lot of things personally. Having a good sense of humor can relieve otherwise stressful situations. Even more brownie points if they are clever and have wit because that goes hand-in-hand with intelligence. My sister is someone who always has an anecdote for situations and tells the best stories because she’s able to laugh at herself. She is also never mean-spirited when joking. There’s a difference between making fun of people to demean and another to share in laughter and tease in good faith.
When someone is able to banter and hold a stimulating conversation, it is mentally challenging. Anything that presents questions and injects novelty into life continues to captivate long after initial impressions.
Receptive to experiences and ideas. That they are curious about the world around them and want to learn more about it without ill prejudice or bias. People who are open are generally friendly as they are willing to embrace people of almost all walks of life.
This describes individuals who are selfless and think of others before themselves – those who are genuinely concerned about the welfare of others. Naturally, people have to attend to their own needs first. But this makes it all the more attractive when someone does take others into consideration by putting their ego aside. They are not doormats or overly “nice”, but they do reflect on how their actions will impact others before making decisions – not because they care what people think, but because they benevelontly care about people.
Beauty pleases the eye only; sweetness of disposition charms the soul.
People aren’t perfect and make mistakes. Everyone’s actions and opinions are based on their own accumulation of life experiences and knowledge. Someone who tries to see from another’s perspective in order to understand where they are coming from demonstrates emotional intelligence and that’s desirable. They are in tune to other people’s feelings and can sense what isn’t being said. They are intuitive and are able to read between the lines.
It’s relieving to know when you can rely on someone. However, when someone displays a sense of autonomy, it is just as attractive. To know that a person is able to hold their own in new or difficult situations shows that they are able to handle themselves without being overly reliant on others – be it financially, socially, or otherwise. It demonstrates that an individual can sustain a life of their own.
People who have a natural effervescence and love for life always seem to find the silver linings in situations. If it’s a rainy day, they’ll find a way to make it fun. My brother is like this, making sure to always find the positive in situations. As a byproduct, he is humorous too. One trick he shared was to use the word “but” whenever thinking something negative. “It’s cold outside, but at least I get to wear my new coat”. It’s easy to fall into the routine of being a Debbie Downer, but think about the people that find the negative in situations. Do you gravitate towards them? Positive people are inspiring, and we often get pulled in their direction. We reflect the feelings of those around us, so leaders who take the initiative to act positive are magnetic.
They are who they are and are candid about it. Being genuine for me is in the same vein as honesty. If someone claims to have any of the formerly mentioned traits, but isn’t sincere in their intentions, it doesn’t have the same effect. If you act one way around someone, but different around someone else, or change your opinions based on your audience, it conveys an overall sense of distrust. Why would you try to hide the real you and what you really think? Yes, there is a time and place to act in certain ways based on societal expectations. But overall, transparency with emotions, dreams, questions, and thoughts is irresistible because it touches on our vulnerabilities. It connects us on a deeper, human level. To show your true self demonstrates courage.
“Let the beauty we love be what we do.” -Rumi
Beauty is subjective, and this list is neither finite nor resolute. Someone’s list may be different in length or description. People are fallible, and there is beauty in imperfection. There are also things I would add when considering friendships and significant others. Either way, the saying “beauty isn’t only skin deep” may be cliché, but there is truth to it.
By forming your own list of qualities you find attractive in someone, you can better realize the type of people with whom you want to associate. It can also be an exercise for self-growth. You may find these traits enticing, but do you reflect them? Like engages like, so in order to bring these kinds of people into your life, you may need to work on yourself first. Challenge yourself to make your own list of qualities you find appealing, look for them in people with whom you connect, and work on those characteristics in yourself.